The Victorian Polyamory community

What to Expect

What You Can Expect At PolyVic

These are a few guidelines for newcomers wondering what to expect at PolyVic events. This is a living document and all suggestions will be considered.

Respect and Acceptance: We ask that all group members treat each other with respect and acceptance regarding diversity in sexuality, gender identification, racial and cultural background, lifestyle choices, relationship choices or any other perceived differences. We value robust debate and you are welcome to your opinions but please express them with respect.

Personal Boundaries: Many people arriving at PolyVic for the first time see a very affectionate group with a lot of hugging and kissing. It can tend to look like a free-for-all and it may not be apparent how much time and energy has gone into creating the relationships that sustain that degree of affection. Please don’t ever assume that anyone is comfortable with any kind of physical contact without asking them first.

Emotional Safety and Responsibility: It is the intention of the group to create a safe and supportive space for each other. We ask that if something is said at the group that you find offensive or emotionally unsafe, whether directed at you or someone else, that you take responsibility for your own safety and speak up about it. If you are able to, talk to the person(s) concerned, as near as possible to the event. If you feel unable to do that, talk to or email a friend or a member of the committee. A list of committee members and their email addresses can be found here. We also encourage you to be prepared to gently educate those around you about issues in which you have more knowledge or experience than they do, rather than blame and flame.

Gossip: PolyVic is a small tight-knit community, a bit like a village in some ways. Negative gossip can do a lot of damage to a community like this. We encourage everyone to deal forthrightly with issues and not to spread damaging rumours about other people. There’s a difference between talking to your friends about your genuine relationship issues and making pronouncements to a group of relative strangers.

In The Event Of A Serious Breach Of Safety (note: this is NOT common): If you experience repeated unwanted behaviour from someone who doesn’t respond to a request to stop, PLEASE TELL SOMEONE. If you can’t do it on the spot, please do it as soon as possible. Preferably tell a committee member but if you don’t know any or don’t feel comfortable telling them, tell someone who can pass it on to the committee. The committee will undertake to speak to all parties concerned and resolve the matter as quickly as possible. If the issue concerns a committee member, that member will be asked to stand aside until the matter is resolved. We prefer to negotiate, such that all parties feel safe and welcomed in the community. If anyone is found to be repeatedly breaching boundaries and is unwilling or unable to change their behaviour, that person will be asked not to attend PolyVic events.